Extraordinary Blessings

Thirteen years in Al-Anon have carried me through a few periods that I call "droughts." Thankfully, after each drought I had a deeper spiritual awakening.

Sometimes I would see newcomers transform in a few months. They'd find this serenity. They looked and sounded so good that I felt jealous.

In my experience, the principles I learned in this program didn't automatically extend to every situation. With each new problem in my life, I had to start over with Step One. Going back to the basic first three Steps was a lifesaver. For a long time that's all I did. Then I started following them with a written inventory of the problem I was facing and my attitude toward it.

After completing Step Four. I proceeded with Steps Five through Twelve. Steps Six and Seven became beautiful meditations in my life. They helped me see why I had so much trouble letting go. I expected that\ surrendering was something I could do on my own. I couldn't. Today, I pray for God to help me surrender. Little by little, I hear or read something with just a little different perspective. It helps me let go and let God.

Having a sponsor helps me be accountable for following the principles of Al-Anon. I've become good at making phone calls. It's one of the most nurturing things I do for myself. I also write a lot. I write letters to God, often complaining. I write about the things I'm worried about. One of my commitments today is to always finish my writing with a gratitude list. Because of my experiences growing up in an alcoholic home, I can be very negative.

One day I tried to be aware of the negative thoughts I had during an hour period. It was amazing how much pessimism I became conscious of during that one hour. Today, I try to surround myself with positive energy. I tape affirmations on the mirror. I write a simple meditation to read first thing in the morning.

I believe most of us who have lived with the disease of alcoholism suffer from an emotional disorder, but it is curable. I find lots of hope in Al-Anon. Like AA, we have a common solution for a common problem. The blessings and miracles we receive, however, are extraordinary

By Connie T., Arizona

August 2001